Happy New Year! Rewriting Your Story and Starting Again in 2026

“Suddenly, everything was as clear as the dawning day.

In taking away my old life, Serkan had unwittingly given me a new one. For the first time in my life, I had nowhere to go, no one to answer to, and nowhere to be. My future stretched in front of me like a blank page.

I could start again,”

Excerpt from The Other Side of Fear 

It was 10 years ago today that my life changed forever.

On January 1^st, 2016, I fled my violent ex-husband in fear for my life, leaving behind the place I had called home for the past nine years. My job, my friends, my home. Even my children.

10 years on, my life is unrecognisable from the married mother of two young children, exhausted and beaten down by years of domestic abuse. I am now confident, happy, and free. I am a published author with a successful career as a freelance writer. I am in the healthiest relationship I’ve ever had with a man I know will never hurt me. My daughter lives with me, and I have reconciled with my son.  

But, on that freezing January night in 2016, I had no idea what lay ahead. That change, though terrifying and painful, can be the best thing that has ever happened to you.

As humans, we are hardwired to avoid change. That’s why so many of us stay in unfulfilling jobs, refuse to leave relationships that aren’t working, or live out our days in places we don’t love.

Familiarity makes us feel safe. Even when it doesn’t make us happy, fulfilled or bring us peace. Even (as is so often the case with domestic abuse), when it is dangerous, familiarity can feel safer than the uncertainty of change.

It’s because of this that many of us don’t change our lives until our back is against the wall. Like me, significant change often comes about as a result of a major life event such as divorce, job loss, or a serious medical diagnosis. An event that forces us to take a step back. That jerks us out of the easy stagnancy of familiarity and routine. That forces us to see that life is fragile and finite. That we do not have unlimited time.

I chose the title of my book, The Other Side of Fear, from the quote, “Everything you want is on the other side of fear,” as it best conveys the message I want people to take away from my story. That more often than not, fear is the only thing standing between the life we are living and the life we want.

For years, I lived trapped in fear. Fear of my husband and what he would do to me if I stayed, dwarfed only by the fear of what he would do to me if I left. Fear for my children. Fear of what other people would think. Crippling, paralysing fear of the future.

10 years on, when I look back at the events of New Year 2016, I see that my ex-husband gave me a gift. A chance to start again. To create the life I had always wanted.

Whether you’re looking to make a big life change or just some minor adjustments, here are some tips that might help to make it less scary:

1.     Moving on doesn’t mean leaving your past behind. Every experience we have teaches us something, shapes us, and makes us who we are. This is especially true of negative experiences. Take what you have learned with you into your next chapter and allow it to become part of your journey.

2.     Just take the next small step. Making big life changes is daunting, but the good news is, you don’t have to do it all in one go. All you need is the courage to start.

3.     You don’t need all the answers. Be prepared to try and fail, evaluate your plan and make adjustments where necessary. Expect successes and setbacks. Change is rarely linear.

4.     Keep showing up. Consistency is key. Make a list of long-term and short-term goals and aim to do something every day to work towards them. Change is a process, not a single event.

5.     Be kind to yourself. We all have days when we don’t achieve all that we could, or days when nothing seems to go the way we want. Rather than wallowing in guilt, listening to negative self-talk, or giving up, learn from it and start over the next day.

6.     Get support. Build a network of people around you to provide emotional support as well as practical help.

7.     Take stock. It’s important to stop once in a while and reconnect with yourself when going through a major life change. This may be in the form of meditation, visualisation, journaling or whatever works for you.

For those of you contemplating making a change in 2026, I wish you courage. The courage to leave your comfort zone. Apply for that job. Learn that language. Move to that city. Leave that relationship. Write that book.

To risk all that is familiar and step into the unknown is one of the bravest things you can do.

If I could go back in time to my former self as she fled the life she knew into an unknown future, I would tell her one thing.

“It’s going to be OK.

In fact, it’s going to be awesome.”